My Mom, My wife, I and the first date

It is weird being in your late 20s and having your mother set you up with a girl.

“What kind of decisions I had to have taken in my life to get to this point?” I asked myself as flashbacks of previous failed relationships and awkward dates reverberated through my mind, confirming the string of wrong decisions and hasty words that had characterized my life.

Here I stood, a man in his late 20s waiting for the date.

It had begun innocently enough. I got her number, pinged her, flirted a bit, and agreed to meet up.

She was cute, was engaging enough in a conversation, and had enough knowledge about food.

But then those were my reasons for agreeing to meet her. What were hers, I wondered?

What did she see in me to agree to meet me?

There it was, my awesome insecurity rearing up its ugly head again.”You are a funny boy, David,” I told myself and started wondering why do I refer to my 27-year-old self as a boy rather than a man?

Brushing aside the digression. I brought myself back to reality.

Life was good. I was happy. Previous relationships did not dent me to such an extent that I was cynical about love and happiness.

But then every heartbreak takes a little peace out of you. So while still not completely shattered, the cracks were beginning to show.

Maybe that is why I agreed to meet a girl my mom introduced to me?

Was it a sheer act of desperation?

I don’t see any other reason as to why I would have agreed to this.

I have never listened to my mom pretty much in anything ever since

I left home to go to college-aged 17.

I took pride in my independence & made my own decisions while forging my own path.

But then, what did I do to end up aged 27 meetings a girl my mom introduced?

Was it, as I suspected, a sheer act of desperation?

Or rather, was it a sheer nagging of a mom with a case of empty nest syndrome as all her children were away from home?

“Whatever be the reason, I am here now,” I told myself, bringing my mind to the present and focusing my thoughts on this girl I have been texting and talking to for the last few weeks.

Her knowledge of food was fantastic. Maybe, that’s what drove me to her.

Living in a world where I had to explain that a crepe is not just a sweet Dosa, she sure was a breath of fresh air.

Had my standards on relationships fallen so much that I got interested in another person because of her love for food?

“It’s not as if your carefully curated relationships panned out either. Either it ended up in flames or ended up with you getting stranded in the rain near the beach. So shut your mind up and let’s meet the girl,” I told myself.

So, coming back to her. She was cute. Her smile esp. in her pics were mesmerizing.

And now, I am standing outside a closed restaurant near the curb, waiting for her.

The brainiac within me had chosen the restaurant that had closed its doors two weeks back for renovation as the spot for our first date.

“You have had worse first dates.” A voice in my head told me.
I was unsure if my brain was trying to reassure me or mock me yet again.

After pinging her and planning to hitch a ride at the next available restaurant, I waited by the curb for her.

A few moments in, that was the first time I saw her. Dressed in red and she carefully parked the car by the curbside and beckoned me to come in.

As I opened the door, my mind raced, “What do I tell the girl with whom I spoke about food a lot but chose a closed restaurant as the spot for our first date?”

Maybe, she felt my uneasiness, or most likely, and she felt pity for me; she looked up and smiled and told me, “It’s not a problem, let’s find a new restaurant.”

I was 90% sure it was pity. But then a bulb lit inside my head. “She took pity on me. That’s a good sign.”

Cursing my desperate brain and weird paths my life must have taken; wherein I can conclude that I have a chance with a girl because she took pity on me; I forced myself to look up and to the right where she sat in the driver’s seat.

She was still smiling, and that smile mesmerized me in her pics blew me over today.

Man, was she beautiful? It was like you took the Greek sculptures of Athena, draped them in Indian clothing, and transferred the mysteries of Mona List onto her. Except that, unlike Mona Lisa, it was her smile that held all that mystery.

“Talk about shallowness,” my brain sneered as my heart skipped a beat taking in her beauty.

“But doesn’t love to have a modicum of lust within it? Why shouldn’t I verbalize her beauty? Also, please shut up,” I told myself as I concentrated on the moment and her.

Now, I am on a sticky wicket. I think she looks good. This complicates the chances of objectively assessing the date. But thankfully, we reached the restaurant and got seated.

And then she started talking. And kept on talking.

Maybe she rehearsed this before? Or was she nervous as well?

Maybe, her head was also full of the thought processes I was going through.

And then, I did something I had never done before in my life. Or rather, I had done so few times before that it felt like I was doing it after an eternity.

I listened to her.

I listened to her talk of everything and anything in her life.

I was then confused.

Then she spoke some more.

She spoke of how she wants to live her life.

That was interesting.

She spoke some more and cracked a joke.

We laughed.

And just like that, the date ended, and she left. I didn’t know at that point I was looking at my future wife.

I didn’t know marriage is hard and that it takes every ounce of your living mind to make it work.

What I knew then was going to a second date, and for the life of me, I couldn’t get the image of the triumphant look my mother will have when I tell her this.

Post that, we met a few times, fell in love had some awkward moments, such as the one time I tried to go for a hug as she held out her hand for a handshake.

And then, almost a year in, we were exchanging our wedding vows. It was beautiful and unforgettable and gave my mom a lifetime pass.
A lifetime pass where any questioning on any activity done by her is validated with, “I introduced you to your wife, I know what I am doing.”

And so, she gained her victory and a comeback which I will hear about until the kingdom comes.