My Mentors and Me: A tale of 8 Learnings + A Bonus

We must lean on others to strive on our own

This line from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez‘s pinned tweet got me thinking. 2018 was a pretty sweet year in terms of my professional life. I got higher up on the professional ladder and got a seat at the big boys’ table. But I didn’t do this alone. There were others I leaned on in this journey of the last 3.5+ years to get to where I am today.

This post doesn’t talk about my mentors. But rather it talks about what I learned from them. Before I start, I have certain assumptions/disclaimers which you should know about so that you could fully appreciate the article:

• My definition of Mentors: Anyone who coaches, champions, brings clarity and teaches me the hard and soft skills necessary to move ahead in my professional life
• My career has always revolved around the Sales/Marketing domains. The experiences and learning shared here is derived from those two disciplines only
• My entire career up to this point has revolved around a single firm Kaar Technologies. So all the mentors mentioned here will be from that firm.

Now with the necessary background in place, my learning from and about mentors are as follows:

Learning 1: You find mentors in the most unlikely of places

When you first start out your career, you automatically look up to that “First manager/Boss” of yours. But sometimes, it doesn’t work that way. Don’t fret and also don’t resign yourself to that situation. Look out and about. You will find your mentor.

For me, it was Jegadesh Balan. At that point, he was the Project Manager for one largest CRM/ Enterprise Mobility projects in Saudi Arabia. I had spoken to him a few times on call regarding Enterprise Mobility. But slowly we built a rapport, and he started allocating time for me after office hours two times a week to teach me technology saying ” I can’t let loose a sales guy without him knowing technology inside out. It always comes back to bite me in the back.” My first face-to-face meeting with him was around six months later. But by then, we greeted each other as old friends rather than as an acquaintance.

How does a Project Manager well versed in the art of SAP project delivery become the mentor for a sales/marketing professional? But hey, it happened. He for the last 3+ years has been my champion internally within the organization and the person who kept my morale up even when I doubted myself.

You will get your mentor, provided you are willing to look out for them. They might not be someone you expect but talk to everyone around you, keep an open mind and network like your life depended on it and you will get your mentor.

Learning 2: You are the luckiest person in the world if your boss is your mentor

I have read a lot of articles in Forbes, Inc.com, etc about the importance of supportive bosses. Don’t get me wrong. Mentors can be from anywhere. But there is nothing more awesome than when your boss happens to be your mentor. The advantages of having your boss as your mentor are as follows:

• They have gone down the same career path you have. Meaning they can identify your goals and ambitions very easily.
• They set your KPIs. So the mentorship and advice they give will have a direct correlation with your professional success.
• They have a direct interest in your success. Being your Boss, your growth is their growth. There is vested self-interest.

After a few rounds around the block, I finally ended up under Ratna Kumar Nagarajan. ( Recommended by Jegadesh Balan, of course, 😛 ) and I learned what it means to have a supportive boss. Being quite an aggressive person myself, I push ahead on company strategy trodding on many a foot in the process. But I could do it without impunity because I knew he would have my back. Being a Rajinikanth fan, he is also pretty good with one-liners. Some of my favorite ones include:

• “Beg, Borrow, Steal, Kill, Get the work done.”
• ” If I have to give you all the resources you need and the plan, why did I hire you in the first place?”
• ” Leaders do in-spite off and despite off. Don’t give me problems. Find ways to resolve the problem.”
• ” Give me options considering that I need this to happen. Don’t crib.”
• ” Creativity doesn’t stop just because you have a deadline. Just get it done.”

A good boss supports you no matter what in public. Of course, when you do mistakes you get creamed. But that is in private. Getting a mentor who is also your boss and also high enough within the organization means your career path will have lesser obstacles and you can concentrate on building your skill-set rather than playing the corporate game.

Learning 3: Be grounded during Success and keep your morale up during Failure.

Virat Kholi ( Indian Cricket team captain) doesn’t speak much when he wins, but when he losses, he is the only one that talks. – Ratna Kumar Nagarajan

You don’t win all the time. That is a fact of life. But the point is when you get two to three victories in a row you think you are invincible and you go on to make stupid mistakes. Mentors protect you from that.

The above quote was given by my boss. I could say, I was drunk with success after a few initiatives I helmed, became a success. At that point, I was blowing my trumpet, to everyone around. This quote along with a 45-minute conversation with him brought me down back to earth.

In the same way, he will be the first champion when am doing something untested within the firm battling a lot of opposition or when I end up failing in one initiative or the other.

A good mentor is a safety net that protects you from failure and is that warning bell that tolls hard to make sure you don’t fly too close to the sun either.

I learned that keeping a level head during both success and failure helps you maintain relationships and move faster in your career in the longer run.

Lesson 4: Hold On to your Value system

As you rise within your chosen field especially in the realm of Sales and Marketing it is tempting to cross the line. But your mentors are always around to hold you to that higher standard. For this, I will always thank Vaidehi Srinivasan and Parameshwaran Narayanan, who has always been around to make sure that I hold myself to that higher standard. Some of the learning I got from them include:

• Don’t lie to the client. If you can’t do something tell it to them. They are also human Beings and will work with you to find the solution to the problem.
• You protect your team. Period. In case of failure, the buck stops with you as the leader. You don’t throw your team to the wolves.
• Be level-headed and don’t make decisions when you are frustrated or angry.
• The higher you go up; the higher your value system should be. Because when you fall from a high position you don’t fall down alone. You take down your whole team along with you
• Sometimes you don’t need to give advice. People just want to vent. When people tell you about their problems, don’t jump to action. Just listen.

A good mentor helps you become the person you want to be without compromising on your value system.

My major learning is you won’t give that much thought to the value system when you are rising up; The temptation to cross the line is very real. But the value system becomes very important when you have reached your goal. How you got there becomes as important as getting there.

Learning 5: Reciprocation is a very important part of building Mentor-Mentee Relationships

Mentor-ship is a two way street. Mentors expect reciprocation to take the relationship forward.

In most cases, other than a vague sense of personal fulfillment, Mentors do not get materialistic or professional growth from mentoring you. In those cases, the only expectation, they have is that you reciprocate. Reciprocation is mostly done by showing that you take their advice seriously and that you put into action. I got many great mentors across many disciplines because of this simple act of reciprocation. Some of the learning I got from them include:

• Persistence based on the right process: You hit a wall long enough in the right way and it will break. This is one of the most important lessons I ever learned in my sales career. Persistence on following a structured process while doing sales is the difference between hitting your target or having an empty order book for the next year. Be persistent and follow a structured process and victory will not elude you. I had the great chance on learning about it and seeing it in action with Santhosh Kumar
• Individual contributors are as important as team leaders and it takes a proper leader to identify who is who: I have Thittai Rengaswamy to thank for this learning. In today’s world where everyone is supposed to aspire to Level 5 leadership and that those who do not fit into that mold are termed as outcasts. He taught me to see the world in a different way. Every person is different. Each has its own talents and will be an amazing contributor if placed in the right niche. It’s a manager’s job to identify his/her team member’s strengths and place them in the niche which will maximize their potential.

Learning 6: The person who walked your path is the best person to guide you

You will get a lot of advice from a lot of people around you. Many of them will be your well-wishers and will champion your cause without a second thought. But you need that one person who has walked your path to be your mentor. He/She will give you the right advice because they have been there, done that. On this front, I have Karthik Manoharan to thank because he walked a very similar pathway to what am going through in my career now and what I aspire to be. The learning I got from him include:

• Write everything down: You are not superhuman. You will forget. Record everything and it will be useful for all those involved in the future
• Acting and failing is better than standing and doing nothing in sales: At least then you will learn what not to do
• Dress right: Your suit, watch, shoes, and laptop bag gives the first impression about you to the client. Make sure you dress properly and carry yourself well. Otherwise, you lose the deal before you utter a single word from your mouth.
• Focus on what you can control: Don’t crib the economy is bad. Don’t crib that the product is not good. The client always has a need and it’s up to you to fulfill it with a Wow factor.
• Always give the WoW factor: Whether it is an internal presentation or a client proposal defense you should always go for the wow factor. You should always provide a takeaway for the person who is sitting opposite you and listening to you.

Learning 7: Your mentors needn’t always be older and more experienced

Mentors do not always have to be the white-haired oldies who are 10-15+ years older than you and have great accomplishments under their belt. It can also be young people who with their sheer energy and skill-set can mentor you on things you don’t know especially technology. I am lucky enough to have two such mentors Mahalakshmi Kannuchamy and Vignesh Barani. Having been in the sales world for so long and out of touch with hardcore Software Development for the better part of a decade, I am thankful to both of them for reintroducing me to the world of data science and teaching me about the nuances in the field. In addition to Technology, I also learned the following life lessons from them:

• Don’t jump to conclusions immediately. Sometimes it takes people some time to find their groove
• A Kind word takes you much further than using authority to get stuff done

Learning 8: Mentors teach to Trust

It is a hard world out there. The corporate world is fast and ever-changing and sometimes might feel lonely. Mentors are like the light-house which offers a beacon of hope and guides you to the shore of prosperity.

Yep, not all mentors you choose for yourself will be the right fit for you. Sometimes these so-called false mentors will have their own agenda and lead you down the wrong path. It’s ok. You have to fall down a few times to get up. The right mentors teach you to trust. Because without the trust you can’t follow the advice they give. And by teaching us to trust they give us a beautiful gift. The gift of a happier, trustworthy world.

The above are some of the learning I got from my mentors. I am sure I have missed a few names in the list. Thanks for all the learning. I will be eternally grateful for the valuable lessons I got so early in my career.

Of course, in addition to the eight, I also have one more as a bonus for all you patient readers out there.

Bonus: You can mouth off to your mentors without getting into trouble

All of us have a finite emotional capacity. Sometimes, we will get frustrated, irritated etc. In this scenario, you need a person you can throw the whole thing at without fear of any repercussions. Your mentors are the best people to do that. You can happily mouth off and vent out your anger knowing full well that it will not be thrown at your face later in the day. I have been guilty of using this perk myself. And that is an amazing bonus of having mentors.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

What was the most important thing your Mentors taught you?

I would love to hear about it in the comment section below!