The Kiss that sealed Fate

It was then, I knew it was over. All the love and lovers who had lived and will live in the past, present and future of mankind couldn’t help us. Love as we had known and painstakingly built between the two of us was lost.

But then again it was not supposed to be this. Once you fell in love, you were supposed to be in love forever. Wasn’t that the credo? Love was supposed to be like the Lighthouse which stood still as the waves raged all against it.

Love was supposed to be that one fixed mark, around which both our existence was supposed to be defined, built, nurtured and grown upon. Love with its infinite capacity to bring in and hold billions of humans in its bosom should have kept us close. But alas, it was not meant to be.

So then comes the question. What’s the opposite of love? What’s the opposite of the raging gush of emotions which seeks to entrap two souls in eternal bliss?  What comes after the eye meets and the two souls intertwine into one?

Hate? Do you get angry then when love is lost? Does the same raging gush of blissful emotions which used to envelop two souls become a single raging pillar of disgust, revulsion, and hate? Does it become the feeling of unrequited rage which leads to lapses of judgment in both souls as they unravel from the throes of love?

No. Because Hate is an emotion. Hate is supposed to mean something. Hate still counts as a feeling you have towards the other person. Doesn’t the popular sayings goes, “Hell hath no fury like love turned to hate…”?

The loss of love is an empty pit within our stomachs with a numb feeling in the heart and an arrow through the chest. If love was an emotion where superlatives were not enough to showcase and share the emotion; the loss of love is simply a lack of emotion which is a bottomless pit into which the superlative words swirl down into nothingness.

But here I wouldn’t call it a loss. I would call it a lack of love. But then what’s the difference? Either way, something is gone forever. But then for the person in the here and now, the difference between lack and loss is that thin red line between sanity and the psychiatry ward. For losing, just sends you into a bottomless pit of no emotions. But slowly stopping to be in love with each other, that’s the straight line to the psychiatric ward.

It doesn’t happen over a single day, you know. It doesn’t happen over a week, or even over a year. But the lack of love does slowly rear its ugly head; it’s like looking into a boiling cauldron of heightened blissful emotions and finding it’s empty because of the numerous microscopic holes unseen to the naked eye.

But then I digress. Whilst Lack or loss is important to the two rational minds of the two people who had left love’s embrace; it doesn’t matter to the heart which is dry now because it had finally shed all its blood as tears weeping over love lost.

But then how was love lost?

It was the normal love story. The same story was written for millennia by billions of lovers before them. The boy met the girl. Fell in love and moved into their own universe. They knew their emotion was real. A touch or smile was enough to bring emotions to a high whilst a kiss made time stop and earth unravel around its axis.

It’s a beautiful thing a kiss. Having just enough contact for just long enough whilst being able to explain what you couldn’t with 100,000 words in a few short seconds. Again it’s a curious thing this act of love.

Between these two pieces of souls, the first kiss did have emotions, but not of the sort they had in mind. It was the first kiss for the both of them. The kiss that was supposed to move their love into a higher orbit. But, curiously all the felt was fear. That fear they are doing something wrong, interspersed with the excitement of biting into the forbidden fruit. For somehow, however beautiful a kiss is, somehow the kiss between two young souls is vilified by the outside world.

But the fear soon disappeared. The next subsequent kisses, saw these two lovers slowly letting go of the fear and enjoying the moment. But then alas, if only life was those kisses. But it was actually between the kisses that life happened.

Whilst joy creates love, it is the sufferings within life that strengthens the bonds of love. But alas, whilst sufferings strengthened the love, it also dulled their emotions. No more did emotions mean as much as it did for sufferings had this nasty habit of making cold and afraid of their emotions as if they were the cause of the sufferings in the first place.

As life happened and sufferings came in, the emotions dulled and each kiss started to mean less and less. The two lovers who had created their own universe away from mankind’s stink slowly felt their universe fusing into the great big universe of man. But man is a miserable creature and his big universe started transporting its misery into these two tiny hearts.  The satellite after a brief shining moment within the stars had crashed onto earth.

Hopefully, the two hearts could have struggled and retained the emotion. But they loved each other with a love that was more than love and as with any emotion which peaks beyond a point this too dissipated until nothing was left.

Both were in dread of that coming day. For whatever happened, they were in love and in a sense different. Both were outcasts from the world of normal and with each other, they were not alone. But then their hearts had other things in its mind.

One fine day, all came to an end. It was all very calm. They met and spoke of small nothings and the happenings of the day as lovers do. But when it was time to leave, for both to go into the whole wide world, they felt nothing; nada. And that was not love. The aching you feel when the other person leaves your site of vision defies logic and emotions and in a curious and weird way defines love. But here none of that was felt. They kissed and they left and they felt nothing.

The talks. The handwringing. The parting of the ways all came later. But it was at this point both knew it was over. This kiss had sealed our fate. Had sealed our love. Love was lost and nothing else remained.